You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
