who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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