doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
