found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
