"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
