She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
