butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
