People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
