who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
