You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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