some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
