Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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