Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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