Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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