apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
