so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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