STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
