is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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