You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
