So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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