Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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