all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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