Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
