It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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