Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
