Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
