I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
