I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
