There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
