i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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