Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Holy shit dude........stairs
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
