He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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