Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
operation harelip BJ is a go
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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