Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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