Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
