I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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