We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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