My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
