okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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