eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
