yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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