I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
