SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
