i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
