Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
