i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
