Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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