This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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