i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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