I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
That's intense
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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