She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
