why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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